You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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