how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
