Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
