Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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