How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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