Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
