Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
