Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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