I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
