i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
