??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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