For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
