Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
