I'm eating all of the evidence.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
