and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
