I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
