I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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