we made out on top of his cat.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
