im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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