You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
