i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
