She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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