There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
