I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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