nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
