Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
