if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
