My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck appropriateness.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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