YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
