i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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