she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
