They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
