9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
