I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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