Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
