how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
