So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
