We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
