I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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