It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
