My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
