You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When did angry sex become our thing?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
