Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
