New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
