Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
