I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Someone came in the potted fern
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
