i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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