So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
