I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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