Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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