I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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